


i'll pierce it in directly

by redlemonade



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mild Language, Nurses & Nursing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Strangers to Lovers, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-10-31 22:09:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17857874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redlemonade/pseuds/redlemonade
Summary: jihoon was diagnosed with ptsd about two weeks ago.after neglecting therapists, he finally starts to go in to the hospital twice a week for the counselling center on the same floor as checkups. that's where he meets soonyoung, a nurse in training, who he meets in an awful way by crashing into him.jihoon really thinks that man's annoying, especially with the stares he's given by the apprentice nurse after that incident.





	1. l

eleven AM on a wednesday.

 

jihoon really hated leaving his apartment this time of day, but it was the only time that worked around his schedule.

 

he sits in the waiting room, best friend seungcheol in the seat next to him. the older taps his fingers against his jeans, staring at the clock.

 

jihoon doesn't have a clue how to drive yet, so seungcheol offered to drive him to his appointments even though walking was an option.

 

"cheol, you know you can go and run your errands now." jihoon mutters, hands under his chin and elbows pressed against his thighs. "i can walk home after, it's not a far walk."

 

he sees seungcheol shake his head from his side view. "no, i can wait. i have all day to finish errands anyway." jihoon sighs while he speaks. it's always useless to argue with him.

 

seungcheol has been jihoon's friend for several years now, but after the younger was diagnosed with ptsd he's been much more attached. the many 'are you okay' text messages that flooded his phone get annoying, but he knows seungcheol just cares.

 

it's only been two weeks since he was diagnosed. he also neglected the recommended therapy sessions for those past two weeks. he mainly got sick of the calls he kept receiving, so he agreed to only twice a week.

 

he thinks he's fine without the therapy, honestly. sure some nights he cries himself to sleep, and other times he stays in his apartment for a few days without leaving, but he still assumes the therapy isn't necessary.

 

"lee jihoon." a male who just exited the door leading into the stuffy hall of doors says aloud. his voice sounds sleazy and the brown mullet atop his head looked like an ungroomed cat. he was wearing the standard uniform, but it still looks like he hadn't slept the previous night.

 

jihoon groans to himself, but still stands from his cushioned chair. seungcheol gives him a smile but he doesn't smile back as he follows the nurse through the doorway.

 

it's not a comfortable walk down the hall as he follows the clearly tired worker, who then leads him to a room on the left. he opens the door for jihoon. "the counselor will be in shortly." he says in his 'i'm trying to be a good person' voice. jihoon catches the nametag on the lanyard around his neck with his eyes, reading the name minghao.

 

as soon as jihoon enters the room the door slams shut behind him. "someone's in a bad mood." he mumbles under his breath and falls back onto the examination table.

 

he lays across the table and stares up at the ceiling, expression of boredom stiff. he has his hands behind his head while occasionally turning his head to look at the motivational posters that allign the walls.

 

he can't help but be sick at the several repeated words along those posters like 'believe in yourself' and 'you can do it'. it feels like he was just stuck in a tiny high school classroom with the lame motivation posters that'd get torn down by his peers.

 

a few minutes of staring at the walls and ceiling while spacing out and suddenly the one door in the room opens swiftly. a man with dark hair and rounded glasses enters in moments, shutting the door with much less force than previous the nurse with the name minghao.

 

the man warmly smiles as he lifts up his clipboard to look down at it. "hello, you must be jihoon." his voice is so deep, jihoon would've called it soothing.

 

"yes, who did you think it was?" jihoon's voice is coldly uncomfortable. he didn't want to be rude but just being in this man's presence made his skin itch. he sits up on the table and looks at the unphased man.

 

the counselor doesn't change his expression and instead sits on the chair next to the examination table. he pushes his glasses further up his nose. his pen lightly presses against the paper on the clipboard while writing.

 

"my apologies, jihoon. my name is wonwoo, your counselor for twice a week." the man now named wonwoo says when he finishes writing, "we're here to talk about your ptsd today."

 

jihoon desperately wants to make a snotty comment back, but he keeps his mouth shut. it's no use to fight something he can't beat.

 

wonwoo clears his throat when he sees silent jihoon, "so, jihoon, i'm going to ask you a series of questions that you'll be required to answer. is that fine with you?"

 

"i guess." he mutters in a soft tone and the black-hair male nods his head. 

 

he begins with standard questions such as how he's doing today and what he likes to do. the questions got darker the further they got into talking.

 

"when did you first start feeling this way?" that question hit jihoon a bit harder than it should. he crosses his arms over his chest, fingers tapping against the backs of his arms.

 

"two months ago." he exclaims a little louder then originally wanted.

 

wonwoo's eyes widen a bit."go on, please-"

 

"i said my answer. end of story." he spats it out like venom on the tip of his tongue. wonwoo doesn't push further and writes down his given answer on his clipboard. 

 

he was about to ask another question but jihoon interrupts, "are we finished now for today? i've got stuff to do later." he mutters, jumping down from his previous seat after uncrossing his arms.

 

wonwoo shows a pained grimace. "very well. i would not want to push you anymore today." he also stands. "we'll meet at the same time on saturday, alright?" jihoon nods and doesn't wait for the therapist before speeding out the door.

 

now he was starting to feel sick just from the hospital smell. tears well up in his eyes as he speed walks down that same stuffy hallway.

 

he isn't paying attention to what's in front of him until up a path from the left comes another nurse with black hair carrying several different cases of first aid supplies shows up in front of him. soon bandages and antiseptics fly around the two boys now on the floor.

 

the boy dressed in the nursing outfit gasps in fright, face red of embarrassment. "oh my gosh, i'm so sorry sir. i should have paid more attention to where i was going and-" jihoon tunes out his loud rambling and stands back up. 

 

he scowls at the man. "whatever, it's fine." jihoon says back to him in the middle of his rambling. he walks around him and the mess of supplies on the floor and continues down the hall to go out the door that leads back to the waiting room.

 

seungcheol springs up from his chair when he sees his friend and notices how pale and upset he looks. "what's wrong? what did they do to you?" 

 

jihoon's eyebrows soften at his best friend's worried words. his tone of voice doesn't change in the slightest, though. "i got tired of answering questions and some stupid nurse back there crashed into me." 

 

seungcheol wraps an arm around jihoon's shoulders "i'm sorry about that. they need to bother you with those questions less.. and have their employees learn to watch where they're going." 

 

jihoon doesn't say nothing more as seungcheol helps him outside. his red mercedes-benz sits out front when they exit the suffocating building and they quickly get inside. 

 

seungcheol starts the car and quickly tweaks with the radio for a bit. jihoon rests his head in his head with elbow pressed against the car window and door. 

 

"i can't believe i have to go here twice a week." he mumbles to a worried seungcheol that's staring at him.

 

"they only want to help, it might just take time." seungcheol replies and jihoon let's a little 'i guess' escape his lips as he closes his eyes and silently listens to the radio.

 

•☆☆☆☆☆☆☆•

 

soonyoung almost never has good days at work. it usually is always him having to replace items in the doctor offices or helping clean up messes. he felt like a janitor some days.

 

he was only an assistant nurse at the moment, and has been for only a month. he's not surprised he hasn't gotten bigger jobs yet but he hopes that day approaches sooner rather than later.

 

like usual, his day was boring, rushing new supplies to the rooms where blood is taken. he was supposed to have them there earlier but he had accidentally passed out in the break room.

 

he was speed running down the familiar hallway and before he knew it he crashed into a patient. a short petite male with blonde hair who also seemed to be in a hurry. his late supplies scatter across the floor.

 

the blonde, clearly pissed, doesn't apologize so soonyoung takes the opportunity to. "oh my gosh, i'm really sorry sir." the boy doesn't reply so of course soonyoung keeps speaking when he sees him stand. 

 

"i should have paid more attention to where i was going and looked to see if there was anyone walking past." soonyoung knew the patient was spacing out and not considering listening to his apology.

 

"whatever. it's fine." soonyoung hears him mumble. without even the thought of helping coming to his mind walks around soonyoung and his mess and out the door into the front room.

 

soonyoung scowls. "who does he think he is? he didn't even try to help me with this!" he grumbles aloud and minghao turns the corner to see his co-worker friend on the floor.

 

"i heard you a mile away. why are you being pissy?" the brunette mullet-head asks, bending down to graciously help the struggling black-hair boy.

 

"some patient ran into me and didn't bother to acknowledge my existence nor help with this mess." he rants to minghao. "i'm already behind and then this blonde midget comes in and puts me even more behind!"

 

minghao raises an eyebrow as he finishes cleaning up the bandage rolls. "you mean that jihoon guy?"

 

soonyoung shrugs, "probably. he seemed pissed even before i ran into him." 

 

"he was here to get counselling, wonwoo said something about him having some kind of a mental disorder." minghao explains and stifles out a yawn. soonyoung tenses at the words that he hears. 

 

he stands with the supplies in his arms back in cases. "that makes me feel bad. i just yelled about him without even thinking about what he may be going through." soonyoung groans and minghao purses his lips together. 

 

"i better get going, hao. i need to catch up on stuff." soonyoung says.

 

minghao gives him a thumbs up, "good luck, i better get back to working too before i get my ass handed to me."

 

the two part ways, with soonyoung having a weight of guilt on his mind, thinking he should apologize next time that boy named 'jihoon' comes in.

 

he doesn't know what he's going through and he regrets talking about him in a foul way. 

 

when soonyoung finishes putting things where they go and cleaning up the offices, he slouches in a chair back in the break room. his head is in his arms against the table.

 

he hates that it's effecting him like this, but he also has a small part of him that wants to learn about that boy with the disorder. 

 

he knows it isn't really his business only being a low-level employee, but all he wants to do is make things right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> owowowo
> 
> i have had this in my drafts for a while now so i decided to quickly finish the first chapter and post it
> 
> not sure how quickly this'll be updated but still i hope you enjoyed the first chapter♡♡


	2. ll

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> soonyoung remains feeling bad about what he had said to jihoon, and his best friends try to comfort him over it.
> 
>  
> 
> jihoon talks to himself about how he hates sleeping and about the upcoming second counselling appointment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI THIS IS KINDA RUSHED IM SRRY
> 
> I haven't updated this in a while so i wanted to hurry and get something up ): the next chapter will be better + longer i swear

"is it bad that i'm still thinking about that?" soonyoung mutters while sitting at the counter of his friends diner.

 

he swivels around in the stool chair a few times, knees grazing against the stools next to him. his friend junhui stands on the other side of the counter tapping away on the register. the diner had just closed moments ago.

 

the brunette smiles over at him, "dunno. you must feel pretty guilty." he says, beginning to count one dollar bills.

 

soonyoung sighs at his friend's reply and stops moving around in the seat. he crosses his arms over the ice cool counter and takes a sip from his iced tea with the plastic purple straw in it.

 

he looks around him and notices the new menu set up. in junhui's clean handwriting shows the new sides and desserts. the 'coconut cream pie' is still practically screaming his name. he ordered it not too long ago due to the crave being too strong.

 

his feet dance on the floor to the music coming from the stereo. it's typical jazz incorporated to sound like pop, but it brings a nice feeling to its surroundings.

 

"why don't you talk to him?" junhui speaks up after finishing counting the money in the register.

 

soonyoung shakes his head, "no way, all i know is that his name's jihoon." he answers and his companion frowns.

 

he leans over the counter to look at soonyoung. "it's not that hard to apologize next time he comes into the hospital."

 

"what if he comes on the days i'm off?" soonyoung counters back.

 

before junhui could answer the back kitchen door flies open and a tall, dark-skinned male comes out with a plate of the pie delicacy soonyoung had ordered.

 

he sets the platter down in front of the sitting boy. a fork wrapped in a napkin was pulled from the chef's apron pocket and placed next to the dish.

 

soonyoung gives him a laugh, "really mingyu? this is a diner, not a fancy restaurant."

 

towering mingyu laughs as well. he moves around the counter to take the swivel stool chair next to his friend. "hey, my best friend deserves to dine in a fancy restaurant. this is the closest thing you'll get to one. i'll give you it on the house."

 

junhui throws a glare at mingyu, "why do you never get me anything?"

 

mingyu leans over the counter as well to peck his co-worker on the nose. "because i know you steal the cookies from the display case. i do count them, y'know."

 

they begin to bicker and soonyoung tunes them out as his unwraps his fork and digs into the pie. his troubles still weigh on his mind, but he now felt less tense.

 

he's lucky to have good friends like them, he thinks while eating away at the dessert. the three of them have an idle chat together, with junhui and mingyu cleaning the store while soonyoung munches on his pie. he feels like time stops as the sun begins to set outside the large glass windows of the diner.

 

~

 

jihoon doesn't like sleeping.

 

he believes sleep is unpredictable. like when your awake, anything can happen while you sleep, including in your dreams. his dreams weren't often, but ever since the incident they've become more noticeable in his slumber.

 

sometimes they were good dreams. the key word being sometimes, due to them usually going sour in the end. his mental illness made his dreams feel like he was trapped in a jail cell in his sleeping hours.

 

what was worse than those dreams were the demons. by demons he means the monsters that come with the occasional sleep paralysis nightmares. sometimes they were shadows, sometimes they were people he knew, sometimes they were monsters.

 

jihoon changed his mind. he absolutely despises sleeping.

 

that's why is tries his best to spend almost every night awake. his fridge was always full of energy drinks and soda, and he tried to spend many hours in front of his computer screen.

 

he desperately needed glasses, and yes he did have a nice rounded pair, but he never bothered using them. he thought it was a waste of time to clean them, care for them like an infant, it was just unnecessary. seungcheol always agitates him over it, but he never listens to the older's words of wisdom anyways.

 

well he had not enough money to pay for the wifi, and it was either that or electricity to be turned off. he needed his coffee machine in the morning and cold afternoon showers, so the internet connection had to go.

 

he still had his phone, but he needed the data for when he was away from home to places without any wifi at all. now all he could do on it was listen to the small amount of music he had downloaded, seven songs in total which were soundtracks for songs he had wanted to begin producing in his workspace.

 

after he had listened to those he threw his phone to the side and laid on his back against his unmade bed. he begins thinking about the small things, like when he has to get ready for his part time job, or his upcoming counselling appointments. 

 

speaking of those appointments, he remembers has has to go in the day after tomorrow. that thought makes him feel nauseous. the therapist he had met didn't seem like a bad person, he just didn't want to open up about the past events to a stranger. in the end though seungcheol had made him take on sessions.

 

with that thought of counselling in the back of his mind, his eyelids begin feeling heavy and he stifles an effortless yawn before drifting into a sleep with few snores leaving his mouth.


End file.
